A question ignored...

What do you believe?

It is a question thrown around way to haphazardly.
We as humans don't give it much gravity. We refuse to focus on life and it's brevity.

A blink and a breath and we are gone.
Gone from this world that will keep on spinning without us.
Sure we would like to think that our great ideas will live on.
But soon our memory will amount to nothing more than a yellowed picture in a box in the attic... if we're lucky.

So why, then, if life is so short do we not focus on something beyond this life?
Beyond ourselves?
We are so consumed with our nine to five,
That we don't realize that our life is not sands through an hourglass.
We are a ticking time bomb...
The blue wire has been cut and the clock is ticking faster towards zero.
Zero... A flat line... A cold lifeless corpse

So what's next?

We are hurtling toward eternity.
You will live forever whether you like it or not.
The question then, is what should expect?
The problem with us as humans is the we think we can earn our way into heaven.
Like there is some merit badge sash, that if filled, buys your way in.
We as humans are dirty fallible animals that couldn't find our way out a wet paper bag with a machete.

The only way we make it into heaven is to have someone die in our place.
Sacrificing a lamb doesn't cut it anymore.
The blood spilt must be pure and perfect.
Without sin... God

God must die... therein lies our problem.
But also therein lies the solution.
God must send himself as Jesus to DIE
And in that blood spilt we gain passage into heaven.

Now that you know the path...
Which do you choose?
Do you choose the here and now?
Living life for the moment...
A Maxwell House kind of life
"Good to the last drop"

That life is poison...
It pays no attention to eternity.
The forked tongue father of lies whispering in your ear.
Tickling you like sir hiss.

Forget about eternity, he says.
We'll burn that bridge when we get there.

ETERNAL DAMNATION
That's what awaits you..
Everyone is afraid to use that word.
Well it sums up what eternity will be like IN HELL
Lakes of fire
Pain and suffering
DAMNATION
Living eternity apart from God
Wishing you were dead.
DAMNATION

Or do you choose LIFE?

Life with God..
Singing his praises for eternity
That's time without end.
Take the US debt of sixteen trillion
Multiply it by sixteen trillion..
You haven't even scratched the surface.
Heaven is a place that doesn't need light.
No sun no sixty watt lightbulb
God lights the place with his presence
A place so full of perfect glory
He uses gold as asphalt

Which do you choose???

The next time your asked "what do you believe?"
Don't skirt the question
Think about it, have an answer...
Who knows... it might be me asking

And I won't let you off the hook...

My goodness what a crazy day!

At 4 am this morning I found myself (as I do most mornings) in a coma of deep sleep. I hear my wife's voice calling my name. "Zach," I hear Rebekah saying, "I am pretty sure I have been having contractions since 2!" "Call the hospital then," I say, thinking that her calling the hospital would afford me some time to wake up (While my mental faculties come to me quickly upon waking, my physical ones... not so much). She calls and the waits for the nurse to call her back, while I try to figure out if this is the real thing and so that I can try and get my body "percolating" as my grandfather would say.

The nurse calls back and informs her that she should go ahead and come in. Now it is a good hour drive so I roll out of bed and look at Rebekah and she is doubled over the bed in pain from a contraction. This causes me to go into overdrive running around getting everything together. We get into the car about 45 minutes later and head out for Lubbock. I decide to turn on the emergency flashes and speed just a little. 10 miles into the trip, Rebekah looks at me and says "I feel like I have to push!" "Oh $#!T," I think, "I may be giving birth in this car with my daughter hanging out in her car seat in the back!!!!! Have I torn up any sheets," I wonder? "How the hell am I going to boil water out here?" (I watch WAY too many old movies...) I channel my inner lead foot, and start pushing 90-95 mph. 15 minutes and 2 red lights run later, we arrive at the hospital.

I park in front of the Women's center and Rebekah gets out and doubles over from a contraction again. So I get out and run inside and tell the woman at the front desk (who is fiddling with a box of Girl Scout cookies), that my wife is in labor and we need a wheelchair now! She says okay and goes back to her box. I say, " No I don't think you understand! This baby is coming NOW!" I run back outside and Rebekah just walks by and walks inside. I go to park the car and get Layla out. We get everything and walk into the triage room and Rebekah is in a gown and on the bed. She looks at me and says "I am at a 9!" For those of you who don't know anything about giving birth 10 cm is what you are going. I walk out to check where my parents are. I walk back in and grab my wife's hand. 4 pushes later Sawyer Randal Leonard is born. We arrived in the parking lot at 0512 and Rebekah gave birth at 0538. Ever since then it has been a whirlwind! This will definitely be one the craziest ways to start a day I have ever encountered. Well I need sleep, I will talk to all you crazy cats later when I post pictures of my awesome son! Good night all!!!

Now where were we?

So it has been quite a while since my last post, so let's pick up where we left off...
It was just shy of my thirtieth birthday and I was lamenting over things I never did out of fear. Update, I have officially retired from the Army and moved to the Lubbock area. I am attending South Plains College and will transfer to Tech next year. I have reached out to my music appreciation teacher about taking voice and piano lessons. I have not written any songs or poetry yet but that is for two reasons. One, we have been having landlord issues (which I will go into more in a minute), and two, nothing has come to mind. One thing I learned the hard way when I was younger. If you force ideas onto paper, it usually is crap. So I will wait for inspiration to strike and we will see what comes of it.

Now the landlord situation. We rented a place in Crosbyton, because, well, the rent was cheap! It wasn't the nicest of places, but it is temporary while I am in school and it was $325 for a two bedroom duplex. There was also the possibility of moving into a 3 bedroom duplex for $345 a month when one opened up. We signed the lease back in October and put down rent for November and December, to basically hold the unit until I retired in early December and we were able to occupy the place. After moving in and getting all the utilities on, we discovered a ton of problems. The toilet, which was leaking, was also missing a seat. The faucet in the tub was completely corroded out and it was impossible to pull the catch up to get the shower running. The kitchen sink wouldn't drain. The dryer plug didn't work and the stove that was promised was M.I.A. This was followed by nearly a month of trying to get things fixed. Most of these things should have been fixed during the two months that we were paying rent but not living there. However, I digress. It has been almost two months since we have moved in and many of the things have not been fixed. There are other problems that we have found, but I won't bore you with the details. Let us just say that there is a good chance I will get to find out what it is like to file a civil suit against someone.

Now on to happier things. We are about a month away from our son, Sawyer being born, and I am so incredibly excited. I have so enjoyed watching Layla grow into an adorable little toddler, but there is something about the bond between a son and his daddy. I am looking forward to cultivating that relationship. Teaching him how to throw a football. Teaching him how to act like you know what you are doing under the hood of a car for 5 hours and then calling a repair man. Teaching him how to treat a woman, and, coincidentally, when the girl of his dreams comes along, not be to scared to let her know (personal experience lesson there). Teaching him how to love God with all of his being. How to find what he loves to do and pursue it unabashedly. Teaching him a strong left hook to only be used on bullies, people who start a fight, and anyone who lays a hand on his sister(s) (this will be followed by lessons in full on hand to hand combat. It may be a little weird to get a call from his kindergarten teacher asking what an arm bar is but hey...). These lessons and more are what I am looking forward to. I will never hesitate to tell him that I love him and that as long as he is pursuing his dreams that I am so very proud of him. I know I will fail him at times, because I am, after all, human, but I will do everything I can to be the father he deserves.

Okay, sappy out of the way. Here is my challenge this go around. Tell someone that you love them. Whether it be your spouse, your kids, or you decide to freak someone out on the bus or subway, remind those around you that you love them. That they mean the world to you and that you would not be who you are without them. Continue to live unashamed, living by Romans 1:16- "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, for it is the salvation of man, first the Jew, then the Gentile." Until next time my friends, I love you all, my brothers and sisters in Christ!